Even after you leave, if you have underage kids together, you will probably still need to deal with your. Here’s how to do it as safely as possible.
Communication
- Use a parenting app like Our Family Wizard or Talking Parents—they keep records of everything
- Keep all communication in writing so you have proof
- Keep messages short and business-like—only talk about the kids
- Don’t engage in arguments—if they’re being abusive, just don’t respond
- Document abusive messages but don’t reply to them
- Ignore anything that’s not about the kids
Changeovers
Make them as safe as possible:
- Meet in public places—shopping center car parks, police stations, McDonald’s
- Take someone with you if you can
- Keep it brief—hand over the kids and go, don’t chat
- Don’t get drawn into conversations or arguments
- If they’re abusive, leave immediately and call police
- Document everything—date, time, what happened
- Consider a contact centre for supervised changeovers if needed
If They’re Late or Don’t Show Up
- Write down the date, time, and how it affected the kids
- Don’t bad-mouth them to the kids (even though it’s tempting)
- Have a backup plan ready
- Tell your lawyer if it keeps happening
Watch for Them Using the Kids
They might:
- Ask the kids questions about you
- Use the kids to pass messages
- Bad-mouth you to the kids
- Undermine your rules
- Buy excessive gifts to “win” the kids over
- Make promises they don’t keep
- Tell the kids it’s your fault they don’t see them more
What to do:
- Document everything
- Reassure your kids
- Don’t bad-mouth them back (hard, but important)
- Get the kids counselling
- Talk to your lawyer about changing parenting orders
Legal Help
- Courts put kids’ safety first—they can order supervised contact or no contact
- Tasmania Legal Aid: 1300 366 611
- Keep records of everything for court
Remember: You’re not alone. Many Tasmanian parents are dealing with this. It’s hard, but you’re doing the right thing by keeping your kids safe.