TRAUMA-INFORMED SUPPORT AND COUNSELLING?
Trauma informed support and counselling is an approach where services understand how trauma affects people and they provide help in ways that feel safe, respectful, and empowering.
It’s a way of providing support and therapy that recognizes that family violence causes emotional and psychological wounds. The counsellor or support worker understands how trauma affects your brain, body, emotions, and relationships, and works with you in ways that promote healing rather than causing more harm.
Trauma-informed counselling and support work:
- Goes at your pace – there’s no rush
- Focuses on you feeling safe
- Recognizes that your reactions (like feeling anxious, numb, or hypervigilant) are normal responses to abnormal situations
- Understands that healing isn’t linear – you might have good days and bad days
Insert compilation of 2 excerpts from Tania’s story video here – 2m20s to 3m49 s then 4m23s to 4m58s
Key principles in practice
Safety first: They work to make sessions feel safe to you. This might include:
- Letting you choose where you sit
- Asking about what helps you to feel comfortable
- Explaining what will happen in sessions so there are no surprises
- Respecting your boundaries
- Being reliable and consistent with appointment times
You’re in control: You decide what to share, when to share it, and what help you want. There’s no pressure to tell your whole story or make decisions before you’re ready. You decide:
- What you want to talk about and when
- What your goals are for counselling
- How quickly or slowly you want to go
- Whether to continue or take a break
They won’t tell you what to do with your life – they support your decisions.
Believing you: You know what happened to you and you felt the impact. Your counsellor or support worker will:
- Believe your account of what happened
- Validate your experiences and feelings
- Accept your truth
Many survivors have been told they’re lying, overreacting, or misremembering. Being believed is transformative.
Building trust: They build trust by:
- Showing up on time for every session
- Keeping appointments or giving advance notice if they must reschedule
- Following through on what they say they’ll do
- Being predictable in how they respond to you
- Maintaining regular contact as agreed
When you’ve experienced domestic violence, trust has been shattered in the most fundamental way. It’s normal to take time to build in these relationships
Being transparent and honest: They will:
- Explain what they’re doing and why – no hidden agendas
- Be upfront about confidentiality limits (when they must share information)
- Admit when they don’t know something rather than pretending
- Acknowledge mistakes if they happen
- Tell you what to expect in your work with them.
When you’ve experienced domestic violence, where there were secrets and lies, promises were broken and behaviour was unpredictable, this transparency helps your nervous system recognize safety
Respecting your pace by:
- Never pushing you to share before you’re ready
- Accepting silence when you need time to think
- Checking in about whether you’re comfortable with topics or exercises
- Slowing down if you seem overwhelmed
- Letting you stop talking about something if it becomes too much
Keeping boundaries clear: They will
- Keep your relationship professional. They won’t try to be your friend on social media or see you outside sessions
- Establish clear roles. They’re there to support you, not the other way around
- Be consistent by using these principles as a basis for their work with you
- Manage expectations. You know what to expect from them
After domestic violence, where boundaries were violated constantly, clear professional boundaries actually feel safer.
Respecting your autonomy by:
- Recognizing you as the expert on your own life
- Supporting your decisions even if they’d choose differently
- Never judging you for staying, leaving, or going back
- Empowering rather than rescuing you
Domestic violence is about control. Effective support is about returning control to you.
Showing cultural respect and understanding by:
- Creating cultural safety – The support worker or counsellor understands their own cultural background and how it may impact their work (assumptions and stereotypes). They take steps to minimise that impact. They encourage, accept and work with your cultural knowledge and ways.
- Respecting your values and beliefs
- Acknowledging additional barriers you might face
- Being willing to learn from you about your experience
This is especially important for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, people from culturally diverse backgrounds, LGBTIQA+ people, and people with disabilities.
Working with your body: Trauma gets stored in your body, not just your mind. They might:
- Teach breathing exercises to calm your nervous system
- Help you notice body sensations without being overwhelmed by them
- Use grounding techniques when you feel panicked or disconnected
- Explore gentle movement or relaxation practices
You’re never forced to do anything that feels uncomfortable.
Building on your strengths: You’ve already survived incredibly difficult circumstances. They’ll help you identify:
- Coping strategies that have helped you
- Your personal strengths and resilience
- Sources of support in your life
- What has given you hope or meaning
Being non-judgmental: They understand:
- Why it’s hard to leave an abusive relationship (fear, finances, children, love, isolation)
- That you might still have complicated feelings about the person who hurt you
- That healing isn’t about “forgetting” or “moving on” quickly
- That everyone’s journey is different
You won’t be judged for your choices, feelings, or how long healing takes.
Trusting yourself again: An important part of counselling or support work is rebuilding trust in yourself:
- Your perceptions: What you experienced was real
- Your feelings: Your emotions make sense
- Your judgment: You can learn to recognize safe people
- Your instincts: Your gut feelings are valuable
- Your decisions: You’re capable of making good choices
Your counsellor can help you distinguish between:
- Protective caution (healthy)
- Trauma-based fear that limits your life (worth working through)
What to remember
- You deserve trustworthy support – don’t settle for less
- It’s okay to change counsellors. If after several sessions you don’t feel the relationship is working, you can:
- Try a different counsellor
- Ask for a different approach
- Take a break and come back later
Finding the right fit is important, and effective counsellors understand this.